Man in Need
by Biene
Summary: Colby's POV during and directly after Trust Metrics. It's worth reading! Warning: Slash DavidColby Don't like that, don't read!
1. Mission Accomplished

A/N: I know, there are a lot of post Trust Metrics stories out here, but I couldn't help but writing this one. I might add a David/Colby reconciliation chapter if you ask for it. Before I forget it: Of course I don't own Numb3rs etc.

One last thing: This is slash, so if you don't like it, don't read it!

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Colby's nerves were on the edge. He knew his task was approaching its end. All was fine until now, his instincts warned him nonetheless, something just didn't seem right. He couldn't trust Dwayne if it came to the crunch, he had known that from the start. More than ever he realized he was alone in it. Anyway, he had gone that far, he had no choice but to play along. Anything else would blow his cover and probably get him killed… He inconspicuously drew in a few deep breaths forcing himself to stay focused. Without a clear head he wouldn't get through this. And he had to… for himself and for David. He owed him an apology and an explanation. Thinking of David made his heart grow heavier. More than once he had wished to be able to tell him about this undercover mission. Their close relationship had made that secret almost unbearable. When Colby had been exposed as "traitor" how much that must have hurt his friend! At the station he had been able to see the hurt which still burned in David's eyes…

Foolishly he had thought it would never get this far, he had always believed he could get this over with and then tell his team the truth… David had to have thought that he had only used him and pretended to love him, that he had fooled him… Could he ever make it up to him? Would he understand and – more important - forgive him? Could their love survive this? Colby's feelings for him were real, during those weeks in prison he had missed him terribly, had missed his presence, waking up next to him…

He had no answers and with all of his willpower he resolutely pushed those questions back. Soon he was going to meet the man who was behind all of this, his charade needed to be at its best now if he wanted to fool him. And that he needed to do that was out of question!

Now that they reached the Chinese freighter, Colby didn't have time for thoughts. It all happened so fast that he barely had time to register it. Before he knew it he was strapped in that chair and faced with the syringes. Despite that he remained quite calm, he could still get out… While bracing himself for the pain he probed the bonds of his wrists. Damned, they were too tight…. His only hope was that his team had trusted him and somehow figured out where they were. But chances for that were slim at best… He had been aware that he might be tortured and die during this task and had always said that it was okay if he lost his life, because he had experienced everything he had wished to. Now though being faced with it he felt an overwhelming urge to stay alive, to see his team again to tell them the truth, especially David.

The drug worked quicker than he had thought and he began to pant for precious air. He knew it would not kill him, that it was just meant to break him, to make him talk, but it was doing a damn good job at it. Barely conscious of his answers he focused on breathing, taking breath after breath. He would not tell him what he wanted to know, he was going to die anyway… Determined to keep his mouth shut he bore the pain. In his mind he begged his team to come before it was too late. He admitted he needed help now, that there was no way he would get out on his own. Another wave of pain hit him and it took him all of his strength to remain quiet.

He didn't feel the second injection, only the effects of the drug. He really believed he was going to die right now and it took him quite a while to register the sirens that could mean his escape – at least he hoped that. With horror he saw Lancer filling a syringe with potassium chloride, the one drug meant to kill… Step by step he approached him. Colby tried to push the chair back, to give his people a little more time. More than anyone else he knew it could depend on seconds if Lancer succeeded or not… But he was unable to move, he was only able to watch as the syringe pierced his chest.

"It's over…" Colby thought, but then he heard gunshots and saw Lancer falling to the ground. A moment later darkness consumed him.

All he could feel was pain – terrible pain. A moan escaped his throat, then he heard David's voice:

"It's okay, Colby, stay still. Paramedics are working on you."

That was enough to make him relax and he succumbed to darkness again, but not before thinking that his task was completed successfully.

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A/N: Now, how did you like it? Please leave me a review and tell me if you want to see that reconciliation chapter. You can tell me ideas for that and I might add them!


	2. Colby's thoughts

A/N: So, back again, hopefully I'll get more reviews now... ;-) Once again: I don't own Numb3rs, you do know that!

Now, have fun reading!!

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The next time Colby remembered waking up was at the hospital. He felt absolutely nothing, not he least bit of pain. With much difficulty he moved his head a little, so that he could look around. It was then he recognized he was in a hospital room. But how did he get here? Lancer had injected him with potassium chloride, how could it be he was still alive? Now he remembered the sirens he had heard back on the freighter. It seemed help had arrived just in time to save his life…

A smiling nurse entered his room:

"Good evening, Agent Granger! Glad to see you finally awake, you had us worried for quite a while."

Colby didn't even attempt to smile knowing he was still too weak for it.

"My team? Agent Sinclair?"

Barely tripping over calling David "Agent Sinclair" he waited anxiously for her reply. David was the one he wanted – needed – to see the most.

"They have left, only Agent Sinclair is still here. You can see him, but only for a few minutes, okay?"

She waited for his confirmation before she turned and left. Until David entered Colby's eyes never left the door. He surveyed him carefully and easily saw the battle of emotions within his friend. Immediately a wave of guilt crashed over him knowing he was responsible for it. Colby had expected David's silence, so he just silently begged him to come closer. That quiet communication still existed between them like he had hoped and he was relieved to have the proof. Finally the triple-spy broke the silence.

"Hi!"

It was right then that he saw David's inner turmoil had ceased at least enough to make a decision, a decision in favor of him! Their love was strong enough! Colby was overjoyed and he allowed it to shine in his eyes as well as the regret he felt for hurting him. His soul lay once more completely bared to David, which was something Colby let rarely happen. When he was alone with him though he never bothered to hide anything, had never wanted to, had never even thought about it. His thoughts were interrupted by David taking his hand in a firm, tight grip while saying:

"I know. It's okay… It's over now, you're safe. We got you…"

Colby knew David voiced that not just for him to hear but also for himself. They both needed that reassurance. Grateful for that understanding he tried to communicate the love and happiness once more through his eyes. David seemed to understand, he smiled widely.

Just then a knock at the door interrupted them. The annoyance in David's voice was not lost to Colby when he answered:

""I'll be right out!"

His eyes never left Colby and before he left he bent forward and kissed him softly.

"I have to go now, you need your rest. We'll talk when you're better, Colby."

Right before he stepped over the threshold though he looked back and smiled once more. They had a new chance and he be damned if they did not use it!

_I don't know _

_Why fate has brought us here_

_The runes have fallen,_

_Like our every tear_

_Our time has come_

_To salvage all we have left_

_From the ashen storm_

_Before the break of dawn_

A few days later Colby Granger was released from the hospital, but only under the condition that someone would take care of him for at least a few days. Every one of the team offered to do it, they all had a bad conscience for believing that Colby was a spy. He had told them it was ok, they had saved his life after all and there was no way they could've known it was just an undercover op. It hadn't helped much though.

Of course it was David he chose to stay at and anxious as his friend was, he arrived 10 minutes too early to pick him up. Both knew they had a lot of things to talk about if they wanted to last. Too much had happened... At least each of them was willing to try and Colby was very, very grateful that David gave them this chance.

_What can make us last forever,_

_Make it through this hell together?_

_I'd give anything to make it all end well_

_I would give my life to pay the free_

_The price of infinity_

Yes, Colby would indeed give anything if he could've spared David this pain. Once again he was back in the interrogation room where his partner had almost jumped him. Too well he recalled the look in his eyes - hurt, disappointment, betrayal and the worst were the tears which were barely held at bay. Right then and there the blonde had wanted to tell them everything, so that David wouldn't have to suffer that much anymore. But had he done so, his cover might not have stayed intact. He trusted his team implicitly, you could never know though...

_I'm afraid_

_There is no other way_

_I have to go to make it go away_

_Through it does feel like_

_Off all the cardinal sins_

_At least a few_

_I know what I must do_

He had done his job... That had been what he had to do. No matter what it personally meant for him. To keep his team in the dark, that was a decision he'd had to make. He just hadn't thought it would be that difficult... More difficult than anything he'd ever done before. The possibility of falling in love had never crossed his mind when he had agreed to take the job. Despite everything he had continued to hope to get the op done without hurting his lover - and with that himself. Of course he should've known better, life was never how you wished it to be! Now he needed to see if David could forgive him for hurting him like that. He'd put him through quite a hell... How sorry he was for that!

_What can make us last forever,_

_Make it through this hell together?_

_I'd give anything to make it all end well_

_I would give my life to turn the key_

_The price of infinity_

The op had taken its toll on Colby, especially the final stage had demanded a lot of strength from him. Strength he'd only had thanks to David.

So he had to make up for him not only for causing him so much pain, but also for being able to complete the op. He breathed a sigh of relief that it was finally over - no more secrets, no more worries about his cover... If he'd be able to make things right with his partner now, his life would be perfect.

_I know this pain can't last forever_

_When we conquer it together_

_I'd fight anything to take your suffering_

_I give you my life to spend or keep_

_The price of infinity_

Well, would they make it together? Would they conquer the pain that each of them felt together? Only time could tell...

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A/N: Nice place to stop, right? :P Please, please review!!


	3. David's thoughts

A/N: I forgot to mention that the song in the last chapter is „The Price of Infinity" from Beyond the Void, so before I go on, I'll say this chapter's song is „Echoshade" also from Beyond the Void.

Now, I hope you have as much fun reading this than I had writing!

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David in the meantime focused on driving, nonetheless he couldn't keep his thoughts from wandering, reliving his emotions again. First the doubt and disbelief that Colby of all people should have betrayed them, then the dawning it was true, the following pain, the questions if he could've seen it coming or if he should've known it up to the rekindling hope upon the possibility his lover was really innocent and brave enough to pull through such an undercover op. Last of course was the overwhelming joy when they proved it was exactly like that.

_I dawn and find_

_A sentient shade of mine_

_Walking grey_

_Deceiving all but me_

Well, _deceiving all but me _wasn't quite right, Colby had made him believe he was a spy, even though it had taken its time. Oh, how he had struggled to reason those facts away, to find an explanation that made sense and showed Colby was innocent! But finally he had bent to it...

_Chasing the stream_

_Oblivious to the pain_

_I take and deal_

_Refuse to think or feel_

That was how he had coped: Refused to think about it, forcing himself to do his job and pushing himself to his limits so he wouldn't have the strength to think of what had happened and what he had lost. His relationship with Colby had been so great, full of love and understanding - at least so he'd thought. Had he been so easy to fool? Or had Colby really felt something for him? He preferred the latter, but what was true? Would he ever have an answer to that? Probably not...

_Is this me_

_Or just a memory_

_Stolen from a time_

_When things were_

_Not always misery,_

_An echoshade of mine_

Yet he couldn't help dwelling on these times he'd passed with him. Too vividly David remembered Colby's caresses, his promises, his whispers when they lay in bed at night, how they'd comforted each other after a bad case... The list of those things went on and on. He refused to believe all of that had been just pretense.

And the way Colby had looked when Dwayne had pulled the gun on Don and him at that train station... David had believed he had prepared himself for the moment when he'd see him again, but how could he? He might have reacted professionally calm on the outside, truth though was that he couldn't have been more confused. A part of him wanted to just lunge at his former colleague, while the other part still wanted Colby, screaming at him there was more to know than what he did.

_Can't face today_

_Nor digest yesterday_

_Blind on a course_

_That denies there're paths to choose_

How could he be so torn apart? Mind and soul completely opposite? How was he supposed to deal with that, to bring them once again together? He had absolutely no idea, so he left it to time. Someday he'd be okay... Right?

It drove him crazy, something that hadn't yet happened when it came to another person. But with Colby it had been different from the beginning.

_I bring your doubt_

_That weaved this icy shroud_

_Mute thoughts can't melt_

_As they no longer know myself_

Yeah, he really didn't recognized himself, normally he was a pretty calm guy. These thoughts, hopes and dreams he'd had, they just wouldn't go away, they kept haunting him, no matter how hard he tried to push them away.

Only when Colby had called Charlie to tell them the truth, he'd allowed himself to rekindle the hope he'd had. Maybe they would make it through this together... Could they though? After all the pain Colby had caused him? Would he be able to trust him again? David wasn't able to tell.

Only when he saw his nearly dead partner on the freighter he was sure he wanted to try to mend things between them. Unwanted he saw himself running towards Colby, frantically hoping they weren't to late and saying a silent prayer of thanks when he found the weak pulse. Fear gripped his heart, tying an iron-like ring around it, that only loosened when the doc at the hospital told them Colby would be fine. Of course he stayed there for a while...

_Is this me_

_Or just a memory_

_Stolen from a time_

_When things were_

_Not always misery,_

_An echoshade of mine_

And suddenly he could believe that everything would be fine.

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A/N: Now I have one thing left to say: Please, please review! Yes, I'm shamelessly begging!


	4. Reconciliation

A/N: So, final chapter up at last... I'm sorry for the delay, but I had some troubles and didn't feel like writing. But enough said, on with the story, that will have a happy ending...

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Finally they reached their home. Yes, their home, they both still called it that, despite all that had happened. David parked, cut the engine and shot a brief look at Colby before he got out. Their eyes did not meet though, the tension rising, since they knew this would be crucial to their relationship. Neither of them was good at that „talking-thing", but both were willing to give their best. Nothing was more important than this right now... Without exchanging words they settled down in the living-room, choosing two separate chairs instead of the couch they had normally used. Still not speaking they allowed their eyes to met for the first time. Finally when David couldn't take it anymore he broke the silence.

„Colby..."

Right then his partner interrupted him.

„I'm sorry, David... I'm so sorry, I wish I knew how to make it up to you!"

During those words Colby - unable to stay still - had stood up and begun pacing.

„I do hope you'll let me try at least..."

With those words the his heart grew heavier. He couldn't blame David if he'd say no after the time he'd had to think about it. Maybe he'd even deserve it...

David's eyes had followed his partner on his way across the room and right now he didn't say yes or no, he only asked the question that had burned in him since he'd found out about Colby's „betrayal". He just needed to have an answer...

„How much of us was real?"

It now sounded stupid, knowing how loyal the triple agent had been, how he'd willingly born torture... Once again the memory of Colby's rescue resurfaced, with it the fear of having been to late, his frantic rush to untie his partner from that chair, pulling the syringe out and performing CPR. Not that David had told anyone, but when he'd gotten Colby's heart beating again he had left his hands there for a few moments allowing the slow and rhythmic movement to calm him.

Hearing those words Colby froze. He had expected it more or less, to actually listen to them though made him almost sick. His first impulse was to go over to his friend, take him into his arms and kiss him, to make sure David knew how much he meant to him. But he refrained not knowing if his partner would be okay with it. With a few quick strides he crossed the room, kneeling down in front of David's chair so that they were eye to eye. Colby brought his right hand up to David's cheek caressing it gently with his thumb. A light contact so that the other had every chance of breaking it in case it wasn't welcomed. That it was, in fact more than welcomed, it had been craved for. Since that first time in the hospital they had not touched each other, not in the slightest.

„Everything was, I swear. All I said and did, I meant it. It was hard enough to keep the op from you... A few times I almost slipped, you know?"

David could easily believe these words, the sincerity evident in Colby's voice and those slender fingers still caressing him. Trembling hands reached out, sneaking around his boyfriend's waist to pull him into an embrace, his need to feel him close too overwhelming. Colby returned it with vigor, he had missed David so much during the last months... He closed his eyes, allowing himself to breath in the familiar scent of his friend, now being sure he had returned home - at last. Easily David noticed how the other's tense body relaxed what made him smile. And that smile widened when Colby pulled back slightly so that they could share a kiss. That kiss made the rest of the numbness David had felt inside disappear and when they had parted he whispered:

„Welcome home, Colby..."

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A/N: Short, I know, but sweet, don't you think? Please leave me a review, they make my day!!


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